If "the best defense is a good offense" is true, then we should all have an abundant supply of GRATITUDE ready. Our glove compartments, backpacks, desk drawers, jean pockets, pantry shelves, store rooms, computer bags, tool boxes, attics, wallets, favorite hiding places, and sheds should have plenty of GRATITUDE easy to get to. For I know of no better way to stare down Evil and Horror than to shine GRATITUDE in their face. It's the last thing Evil suspects and takes Horror completely by surprise. Please don't get me wrong, the suffering caused by these two is immense and heinous. They destroy whatever they touch and leave a wake of devastation wherever they land. But they don't get to have the last word or the final victory as long as there is GRATITUDE.
It's Diana Butler Bass that has me thinking this way. In her book, Grateful: The Subversive Practice of Giving Thanks she writes: "We should never be grateful for suffering, but the truth is we can be grateful through suffering, and that little prepositional switch -- that’s where the empowerment comes." I want to be careful here because there is suffering in this world that I will never know or ever fathom. I live a very privileged life that has been shaped and nurtured by profound blessing. So when I reflect on suffering I know my experience is very limited with what I sense only coming from observation, reading, and the witness of others. In other words, it may seem incredibly insensitive and unfeeling for me to write about something I know so little of.
And yet, I do believe Diana Butler Bass offers something important for us to consider whatever our experience of suffering may be. Her words remind me again, that while we may not always have a choice about the circumstances and events that unfold in our lives, we do have some choice in how we respond to them. And what I hear her saying here is that this is true even for the very worst of circumstances and events. This again may seem like cruel advice given the countless many who live with overwhelming suffering. But what if her words were more of an invitation to hold both together... the reality of suffering and the ability to still give thanks? What if one did not have to negate the other? What if instead, suffering compelled and drove us to reach for GRATITUDE out of defiance? What if this became the way we told Evil and Horror, "You do not have the last say!"? What if GRATITUDE became the best defense?
And should someone's suffering be too great for any of this, what if.... for those of us whose burden is light,...we find a way to share in that someone's suffering? What if we become agents of GRATITUDE... not grateful for the suffering or as those who explain it all away, but as those who affirm courage, hope, beauty, faithfulness, and love in the one suffering? What if we find ways to affirm life in the midst of death? None of this is easy or meant to be a fix of any kind. As Diana Butler Bass encourages...
"Gratitude is strongest, clearest, most robust, and radical when things are really hard. Really hard. All-is-lost hard. Gratefulness isn't easy and isn't all hearts and flowers. It can be tough in tough times. But a dogged commitment to the giftedness of life can deepen our spiritual capacity to make it through circumstances that threaten to overwhelm us." https://dianabutlerbass.substack.com/p/happy-world-gratitude-day
I don't know if any of this is right. I only know I've caught a glimpse of such defiant GRATITUDE in my dad. Last April he became bedridden. He will never walk again or get out of the bed where he now lives his life. It's something that, by my way of thinking, should have expedited his death, robbing him of every possible joy. Instead, he remains inquisitive, about what's going on in the world, and interested and fully engaged in the lives of all those around him. At 91, his memory remains keen, he's in control of his financial affairs, and he enjoys conversation with every person who comes to see him. He is always listening for ways he might help someone around him... how he might with the means he has, alleviate the need of another. He knows he is dying and has made every possible preparation. And yet, what is most apparent is his GRATITUDE. My dad cannot say the words, "thank you" enough. And when he's not saying these words to one of his family, visitors, or caregivers, I'm certain he is offering his thanks to God.
But what is also true is that none of this is easy for him. Every now and then, I catch him lying in his bed, quiet and thinking, wondering I'm guessing, "When will death come.... what will it be like when it does?" I see him losing his appetite, struggling to get comfortable on a twin mattress, fighting off yet one more infection, and wrestling with his feelings about believing he's become a burden to others. These are only the things I sense and see. I have no idea how really hard it all is for him. I only know, that somehow in the midst of all that is so hard he has found a way to be "doggedly committed to the giftedness of life." He has chosen to make GRATITUDE his defense against anything that dares to rob him of the gift he has cared for so well... his life.
All of this is a ludicrous way to respond to suffering, I know. But the thing is, it throws Evil and Horror off their game every time. It's the last thing they suspect and takes them completely by surprise. GRATITUDE is the last thing Evil and Horror expect to see coming. It's why it's such a great defense against all that seeks to rob us of the gift of life. In fact, it may be our best defense. Not just for ourselves but especially for those whose lives are engulfed in suffering. The great offensive play about GRATITUDE is that it knows what it's up against and refuses to back down. If we can live our way into a life like this.... of giving thanks, it will defend us well when Evil and Horror come knocking. They won't stand a chance. And with God's help, we'll find ways to share in the suffering of others, to help those whose burdens are many. We'll proclaim life in the midst of death. We'll live lives of thanksgiving when there's every reason to and when there's absolutely not. May it be so. With God's unending love and help, may it be so.
Blessings, Leslee
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